Family Support Blog #4
Do You Say to Yourself Sometimes “I’m such a bad mum”?
We all have days when we feel like a bad mum. Nothing seems to go right or we feel we have said the wrong thing several times in that one day. We at times feel like a failure and that we are so losing that non–existent reward for best mum.
When you feel like a bad mum try and think about some of the points below:
- Talk – Talk to your friends and other mums who have children too about how your feeling “Believe me you won’t feel alone”. This can help you get some perspective.
- Thinking you’re a bad mum – Thinking this way probably means you’re not (If you know what I mean). I often remind myself that if I was a bad mum, I wouldn’t be sitting here worrying about it. At the end of the day we all have bad days, just try your best – You are good enough!
- Look at the positives – Focus on the good things and good times, and check out some photos to remind you about the good times. I’m sure you don’t feel like a bad mum all the time. Take time to think how you can change the way you react, if this reaction has made you feel bad in the first place – for example if you lost your cool with your child and shouted at them, think about a better way to deal with it next time (because there will be a next time) like deep breathing or counting to 3 before you react.
- Always remember tomorrow is a new day – Take time to chill and relax at the end of the day and think of one positive thing from that day. I bet you find one, even if it’s something small. Now think that tomorrow is a new day and smile!
- Talk to your kids – Don’t be afraid to say sorry to your kids, if you feel you handled things inappropriately, as this will set a good example to them in the way they themselves should handle things. Tell them you are feeling bad about something and they will probably tell you how great you are, and you may even get a kiss and a cuddle, which will help you feel a lot better.
- Take some time to yourself – It is really important to have some time alone, even if only half an hour to think, take a walk and just unwind. Have a routine for your kids so you can have that most needed free time to do what you enjoy. Recharge your ‘Mum battery’ and you will feel a lot better.
- See things from your children’s point of view – Fortunately for us, children are extremely forgiving and while you are punishing yourself for what you did or didn’t do, they probably think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. So think more like your child and live in the now, and move on, instead of wallowing in it. – I know what you’re thinking “That’s easier said than done”! But hey give it a try!
Let’s try and look at things in a different way
When was the last time you looked at your successes as a mum?
We need to do this more!
List at least five mothering successes from today. I can tell you doing this really helped me as a mum to see the positives in my parenting.
Just in case you’re thinking I don’t know what to put on the list, here’s mine:
- Got my daughter out of bed with a kiss and a cuddle
- Made sure she ate breakfast to start the day right
- Done my daughters hair
- Avoided a screaming match as my daughter followed her checklist to keep her organised for school.
- Told my daughter I love her
- Got my daughter to school on time (another tick for me lol)
“I’ve got them good mum vibes going on”
I bet by now you’re sitting down thinking “Oh maybe I’m not such a bad mum after all”.
REMEMBER YOU ARE ENOUGH – Bad mum days included.
Our Family Support Team are here to offer support and advice and are running workshops in your school throughout the year so please get in touch if you would like more information contact admin@chexs.co.uk
We are #here for you if you need advice, guidance or support – you can contact us via the contact information on our Team page.
